Over the years, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. has rightly garnered some severe criticism. Season 1, Episode 13 was quite frightening to me thanks to a bespectacled therapist called Roger— Phoebe’s boyfriend, and now, my resident nightmare. Roger is undoubtedly a problematic character. A younger me found him funny but now I'm appalled at the sheer atrocity of Roger’s activities as a therapist. He’s unethical. He dissects you, your persona— without your permission.
Ideally, your participation in therapy should be voluntary. You should decide if you need an expert's take on your personal disposition. Therapy is meant to serve your best interest which obviously contrasts with Roger who doesn't care for your interest. He doesn't care to ask if you're interested in discussing your personal issues. He points out your issues, without you asking him to.
Chandler makes a joke, as is his nature and characte, and completely out of the blue, Roger decides that Chandler’s humour is a defence mechanism. He casually says that humour is how Chandler copes, with the broken home of his childhood. He brings up Chandler's abandonment issues. Chandler however, hadn’t made a single request to talk about this. He is now forced to think about his childhood. He didn't choose to bring up this topic. Roger brought it up for him. He burdened Chandler with an evaluation that he had not asked for. He took his agency away from him. Roger's skills as a therapist, don't come across as empowerment. They come as an unsolicited attack of a prognosis.
Roger doesn't use his skills to do any good either. He casually assumes that Ross married a lesbian so his failed marriage would draw attention away from his sister's failings. He holds up parts of their selves that they're uncomfortable with, but he’s doing only that. He does not offer any solutions after he makes his observations. He's highlighting their grievances that make the characters feel less than. He's trained to identify these tropes but he's not using this training to help. He's not using his training to help them navigate these issues-he's leaving the issues up in the air, for the insecurities to fester. Insecurities that ideally, therapy should help one work through, where one navigates their concerns within the safe space of a therapist’s office. Through therapy that you’ve agreed to partake in, with the help of a therapist who has taken the time to acquaint themselves with your case. Completely unlike Roger, who passes callous judgment, around a coffee table in Monica’s living room. Judgement that he passes at face value without taking the time to be acquainted with either Ross or Monica. This is only his second time meeting them— judgement that they take seriously, because he occupies the mantle of a “trained professional”.
There’s no way to confirm, why the creators of FRIENDS decided to feature Roger in this unsettling light. If you’re feeling optimistic, it can be presumed as a tale of caution-that Roger is the kind of person to avoid and be cautious of. However, this line of redemption, doesn’t quite work if you think about the laughter track playing in the background which might lead one to believe that Roger’s behaviour is for the purpose of laughs.
Roger, as a mental health professional, brought only their issues into focus as he didn't offer any solutions. The one experience these characters have with a therapist (shown) is where he left them in the unease of their problems. He exposed their wounds, and then left them to deal with these on their own. Therapy, if conducted appropriately, has the power to save your life. Roger on the other hand, is the Anti-Therapist. The characters say, "I hate that guy," and Roger deserves it, for he's a therapist who violates peace of mind, like nobody ever should.
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